#1: Yuri Brezhnev is at the Moscow Olympic Games and is giving a speech. He looks out and starts: "Oooooohhhhhh… Oooooohhhhhh…
Oooooohhhhhh… Oooooohhhhhh… Oooooohhhhhh…" His assistant walks up to him and says in his ear, "Sir, those are the Olympic Rings. You don't read those."
#2: A grandfather sitting down with his grandson, talking about Soviet history. His grandson asks "Grandpa was the Chernobyl accident really all that bad?" The grandfather responds, patting his grandson on his head, "No, son, it was not. We are all still here, aren't we?" The grandson then asks, "Grandpa, were there any bad effects of Chernobyl at all?" The grandfather says, "No, son, there were none at all." He then reaches out to pat his grandson on his second head.
#3: An aide runs to Vladimir Putin, exclaiming, "The polls are in and unfortunately Gennady Zyuganov of the Communist Party is up at 75 percent of the vote." Putin's eyes widen at this news. The aide realizes this and says, "Oh, don't worry, sir. You're beating him. You have *76* percent."
01 March 2012
30 November 2011
Coming to the Rescue
I was brushing my teeth and I heard one of my neighbors calling out to another one in a way that sounded almost panicked.
It got me thinking: if one of my neighbors were to come pounding on my door in a panic, begging me to open up, I might actually think about it. I might not open the door, because who knows what might be chasing the neighbor. Whatever it might be wold then know there's more than what it's chasing within.
It might divert additional energy to get in to kill us both.
Self-preservation or selfishness? Hard-heartedness?
It got me thinking: if one of my neighbors were to come pounding on my door in a panic, begging me to open up, I might actually think about it. I might not open the door, because who knows what might be chasing the neighbor. Whatever it might be wold then know there's more than what it's chasing within.
It might divert additional energy to get in to kill us both.
Self-preservation or selfishness? Hard-heartedness?
11 June 2011
CNN Breaking News: 11 June 2011, 14:01
From: "CNN Breaking News"
Date: June 11, 2011 14:01:08
Subject: CNN Breaking News
‘The head of the Democratic National Committee is calling for the resignation of U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner, who has been under fire after admitting to inappropriate communications with women online.
"It is with great disappointment that I call on Representative Anthony Weiner to resign," DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz said in a statement Saturday. "The behavior he has exhibited is indefensible and Representative Weiner's continued service in Congress is untenable.
This sordid affair has become an unacceptable distraction for Representative Weiner, his family, his constituents and the House -- and for the good of all, he should step aside and address those things that should be most important -- his and his family's well-being."
And House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi and Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee chair Steve Israel have told Weiner he should resign, a Democratic source with k nowledge of the conversations told CNN. Both released statements also demanding his resignation Saturday.’
Ferchrissakes, I don't get this country most of the time. They speak of personal freedom, of individuality. They want people to be themselves and to err as humans do. I suppose I'm continuing the cycle by opining on this myself, and even forwarding this on, but people should just leave him alone on this. Whatever: he erred!
I suppose this is one of the many shreds of idealism I still have remaining, but I find it stupid that people who work in politics expect everyone "representing the people" to be perfect and to never err. I find it further stupid that people base their electoral decisions on things like this, and whether the candidate is a Christian, or was ever divorced, or even if the candidate is a he.
Do people expect that every politician/people-representative step down every time the err in their personal lives? I had in mind Japan, which has had a prime minister every year for the last five, when it's supposed to be one for at least err four. The prime ministers decided they erred in their decisions as prime minister (with two, I think, stepping down because of personal scandals) and decided they should no longer be prime minister.
Silvio Berlusconi has his teenage dancer scandal, but is he giving up his seat? No! Vladimir Putin may have been maritally infidel multiple times, but he's probably going to run for president again. These men have a separation of the "mistakes" they make in their personal lives from what they do in their offices as world leaders.
Their personal decisions - Weiner, Berlusconi, Putin - have not cost people their lives. They have not done things others have not done ever, and people shouldn't base hiring and firing of leaders based on personal mistakes that have no influence on their official capacities.
Judge them as humans on the human court. Don't judge them in official courts and question their official capacities based on personal mistakes. If they've made official errors, that's up to debate, not "oooh, he texted!"
Whatever.
29 July 2010
Kevin Keller
Okay, so I'd heard about him a while ago. I think I might even have been in Florida still. At any rate, I'm so excited for this issue! :-D Something to look forward to in September.
02 July 2010
Follow Your Road
I was trying to read Max Weber's Protestantism and wok ethic book in a comfortable position. I'd been trying to read it for about an hour in various positions, and it would be either that I could only read comfortably through my left eye - itself a feat quite uncomfortable because I'm accustomed to reading with both eyes - or I could not sit a certain way for very long. I resorted to one I should not have; I laid down on my stomach to read. I soon found myself asleep.
I look around and I'm in a neighbourhood that seems familiar, but I don't know it. I begin to walk. There are houses all about, but no people. It's a film noir look. The trees have no leaves, and some of them are battered and broken. None of them have substantial trunks; they're just skeletons. I keep walking.
I begin to think that I need to be at church for a meeting. It's not the church I've been attending, but one I attended when I was a child through when I went to university. I set back out. Next thing I know, I'm on the highway in my car. I don't know how I got my car, but I do, and I'm on the ramp leading to the next stage of where I need to go.
The light turns green, apparently, though I don't see it turn green. I drive slowly forward, because I'm waiting for people who are turning left, while I have to drive forward. The ramp is under construction. I notice while on the slow procession the time is 7:50. I had to be at church at 7:00, and it will take a little while to get there based on my "current" location.
I continue still. I eventually make it to the highway. Five minutes in my drive, I notice two things. The first is I'm no longer in my car, but driving an ATV. I've never owned one, and I don't know why I have one, but I'm on one. I continue. The second is there is about to be no more paved road. I realise this much too late, as there is an orange, unmarked, thin, plastic cordon drawn above my head by several feet that I cross, and I hit white gravel. I'm thinking I shouldn't be here. "They obviously put that cord up for a reason. I shouldn't be here."
I keep driving as I see a few pickup trucks in the distance. Other people have made this "mistake" too, so it's okay to keep going. I come to several placed where the road depresses severely and I go flying over the depression. After a few more of these, I see an exit branching/curving to the right. I stop the ATV and pick it up by a handlebar, running to the exit to see where I am. I see a sign saying the exit leads 3 miles to Interstate 3. (Note: I'm just now looking this up. I'd never read this article before, so I had no idea there even was an Interstate 3, much less that it doesn't yet exist or that it will be in Georgia. Funny how dreams are.) There are several other road markers to what the exit leads: United States Highway 475 (with a red shield), and three more colour-shielded roads. I decide this is not where I need to exit, and so take my ATV and go back to the main highway.
I keep driving, and it becomes harder to see. My eyes can't keep open as well. Eventually, I have to stop again, but in the middle of the highway. I know I need to continue, but I can't because I can't see. "Just think about where you need to be and it'll happen," says something in my head. The next thing I know is I'm face down on the Yellow Brick Road to Oz. I can see again. I look up and I see Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow. I'm looking at Dorothy looking around and marvelling at the scenery, and somehow I become Dorothy. A few seconds later, the Tin Woodsman appears, and I instinctively know he needs a heart.
A voice in my head goes, "You see? You didn't need to drive any further. All you needed to do was think about where you needed to be, and it came to be. That's why your eyes weren't working."
Then I think about how I'm to get home, and the way to do that is to be selfless. I can't think about what I want, but what others do. I need to make wishes on behalf of the Scarecrow, Lion and Woodsman, because that's what I need to do instead of wish for myself. I don't need to because my mind will take care of whatever I want.
I wake up on my stomach.
...
I look around and I'm in a neighbourhood that seems familiar, but I don't know it. I begin to walk. There are houses all about, but no people. It's a film noir look. The trees have no leaves, and some of them are battered and broken. None of them have substantial trunks; they're just skeletons. I keep walking.
I begin to think that I need to be at church for a meeting. It's not the church I've been attending, but one I attended when I was a child through when I went to university. I set back out. Next thing I know, I'm on the highway in my car. I don't know how I got my car, but I do, and I'm on the ramp leading to the next stage of where I need to go.
The light turns green, apparently, though I don't see it turn green. I drive slowly forward, because I'm waiting for people who are turning left, while I have to drive forward. The ramp is under construction. I notice while on the slow procession the time is 7:50. I had to be at church at 7:00, and it will take a little while to get there based on my "current" location.
I continue still. I eventually make it to the highway. Five minutes in my drive, I notice two things. The first is I'm no longer in my car, but driving an ATV. I've never owned one, and I don't know why I have one, but I'm on one. I continue. The second is there is about to be no more paved road. I realise this much too late, as there is an orange, unmarked, thin, plastic cordon drawn above my head by several feet that I cross, and I hit white gravel. I'm thinking I shouldn't be here. "They obviously put that cord up for a reason. I shouldn't be here."
I keep driving as I see a few pickup trucks in the distance. Other people have made this "mistake" too, so it's okay to keep going. I come to several placed where the road depresses severely and I go flying over the depression. After a few more of these, I see an exit branching/curving to the right. I stop the ATV and pick it up by a handlebar, running to the exit to see where I am. I see a sign saying the exit leads 3 miles to Interstate 3. (Note: I'm just now looking this up. I'd never read this article before, so I had no idea there even was an Interstate 3, much less that it doesn't yet exist or that it will be in Georgia. Funny how dreams are.) There are several other road markers to what the exit leads: United States Highway 475 (with a red shield), and three more colour-shielded roads. I decide this is not where I need to exit, and so take my ATV and go back to the main highway.
I keep driving, and it becomes harder to see. My eyes can't keep open as well. Eventually, I have to stop again, but in the middle of the highway. I know I need to continue, but I can't because I can't see. "Just think about where you need to be and it'll happen," says something in my head. The next thing I know is I'm face down on the Yellow Brick Road to Oz. I can see again. I look up and I see Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow. I'm looking at Dorothy looking around and marvelling at the scenery, and somehow I become Dorothy. A few seconds later, the Tin Woodsman appears, and I instinctively know he needs a heart.
A voice in my head goes, "You see? You didn't need to drive any further. All you needed to do was think about where you needed to be, and it came to be. That's why your eyes weren't working."
Then I think about how I'm to get home, and the way to do that is to be selfless. I can't think about what I want, but what others do. I need to make wishes on behalf of the Scarecrow, Lion and Woodsman, because that's what I need to do instead of wish for myself. I don't need to because my mind will take care of whatever I want.
...
I wake up on my stomach.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)