Soviet Jokes

#1: Yuri Brezhnev is at the Moscow Olympic Games and is giving a speech. He looks out and starts: "Oooooohhhhhh… Oooooohhhhhh…
Oooooohhhhhh… Oooooohhhhhh… Oooooohhhhhh…" His assistant walks up to him and says in his ear, "Sir, those are the Olympic Rings. You don't read those."

#2: A grandfather sitting down with his grandson, talking about Soviet history. His grandson asks "Grandpa was the Chernobyl accident really all that bad?" The grandfather responds, patting his grandson on his head, "No, son, it was not. We are all still here, aren't we?" The grandson then asks, "Grandpa, were there any bad effects of Chernobyl at all?" The grandfather says, "No, son, there were none at all." He then reaches out to pat his grandson on his second head.

#3: An aide runs to Vladimir Putin, exclaiming, "The polls are in and unfortunately Gennady Zyuganov of the Communist Party is up at 75 percent of the vote." Putin's eyes widen at this news. The aide realizes this and says, "Oh, don't worry, sir. You're beating him. You have *76* percent."