When We Rise

	When We Rise (@WhenWeRiseABC)
3/2/17, 10:52 PM 💔💔💔💔💔 #WhenWeRise pic.twitter.com/2yYkNpQTi7

申す… I tell you…

This event is almost done, and it's stirred up all kinds of things in me. I'd probably not have noticed the series if not for a Hulu ad one day last week, and I'd looked forward to watching it.

Except, I feel terrible. It brings up all these feelings of resentment and discontent for me, and it's not even because of the treatment of GLBT people in the past or today. It's partly because of not feeling like a part of anything really, and partly because I don't make myself a part of anything.

I'm gay. I've known that "officially" for 18 years now. I've experienced things I still remember and wonder about, and there are things others have experienced that teeter between me not electing to do these things and me not in the path to experiencing them.

I've never been in a relationship. I may never be. The way I've come to be gets in the way of that some, and it's partly because I don't seem to fit the mould gay people around here seem to want.

Example 1

 

A toned white guy with model looks and abs.

Example 2

 

A black guy with black identity markers. I'm generally too "Oreo".

Example 3

 

A Latino of virtually any sort.

Example 4

 

Your stereotypical hot, confident Asian guy.

People tell me I look better without glasses. I can see that, but I haven't liked wearing contacts for a while now, and I'm not so sure about eye surgery. I cut my own hair, so I don't have the "professionally cut" look. I'm nerdy (but apparently the really hot thing is being into video games, which I'm not). Essentially, there are a lot of things I elect to do that strike against me.

Then there are guys who come after me that I don't particularly fancy, but that's another story.

Seeing just a snippet of these people's lives, which include falling in love, is heartbreaking. What is it these people have that I don't, or what do they do that I haven't? Yes, it's a made-for-television, based-on-a-true-story telecast with æsthetically pleasing people. I'm not seeing the failures in between, not in the way I'd gripe about.

How many eggs does one have to crack to get a cake?

People say it's getting out there and meeting people. It's about taking risks in exposing yourself to others.

I suppose I feel terrible because I can't really work myself up to that. Maybe ever. I'm slowly becoming fine with that, but seeing shows like this don't make it easier.

Expected Sensationalism?

Okay, so I'm going through my tweet stream today and saw this, a re-tweet someone I follow had done of someone he follows, who in turn had quote tweeted a news station's tweet.

Seeing this, I really wanted to reply to her. The way I'd interpreted what she'd said was that the article doesn't mention the fact the couple had arms during their campaign. I read the article and midway down it was explicit to that they did have arms.

I decided to not reply because I'd thought about it and reinterpreted it to probably mean the actual tweet contents before the link. I read what others replied and some had the same initial interpretation I did, some the second, and the rest had some other interesting things to say.

There were, of course, those who applauded the fact the couple got a conviction. This I can understand. Being passionate about a cause is something, but possibly endangering others is definitely controversial.

Some derided the couple's racism. Yes, race more than likely factored into this ("more than likely" because it's just the one article, and I haven't taken in enough information, nor was I there, for me to say "this is racist", even though it does have hallmarks of it).

Some called the ABC affiliate racist for a few reasons. The one that seemed to peek out was the headline seeming to indicate "racial slurs" as the motivating factor for the conviction. It very well could have been, and the fact the couple had arms was an aggravating factor in the severity of the conviction. They thought the station should have put the "armed" part first, or instead of, "racial slurs". I'm just receiving these facts third-hand, so I can't make that kind of judgment. Some cite the reasoning as clickbait. Either way, people are going to click on it.

There are even some who say the station is racist and is enabling others the repliers call racist to use this as ammunition for their own messages.

Some, naturally, blamed Donald Trump, because that's apparently what people do: no matter who's the president there's blame on the president. I didn't vote for him, but he's the president, and God's sovereign. I leave it up to God.

In my mind racial slurs or Confederate flags sound less sensational than guns. Maybe the birthday party part is more sensational? I don't even know. Lately I've been more taking in things without really reacting to them.

But some can't.