Gender

I remember having a curt-yet-civil discussion with one of my cousins about gender. He wasn't the most flexible of people, but I actually felt glad that I'd had that discussion, especially knowing that both of us are cisgender males.

I've not had too much of a second thought about being male beside that I tend not to fit in a lot of the expectations this world seems to have for cisgender men: liking sports, going outdoors and doing things, breeding... Sometimes I've envied being a woman in the sense of seemingly greater insight into community, togetherness, existing without everything having to be a (physical or verbal) fight. Women have their complications, but transgender women and men have some shit sometimes this world throws at them.

It's not until I'd moved to Georgia that I've actually gotten to know transgender views; it seems they've been more frequent lately. Chelsea Manning, a few fraternity brothers who've become sisters, a few trans-men who've become brothers...

Then I've been hearing more about non-binary people and I can understand the confusion, and why some people refuse to deal with it. Making sure one recognizes everyone is a task.

That doesn't mean we shut anyone out, though, just to make someone's life seemingly easier. Let's see how much harder it gets.

In Pursuit of Sex

I had started to muse on the drive of men to have sex why they may do things the way they do, including rape  and then some more facets of this theme came up a few times last week as I was listening to podcasts.

One was about Kurdish women who had taken up arms to defend their lands against Islamic State. One of them had described conditions under them, her describing them having the women disrobe so a doctor of theirs can validate their physical virginity. Then these women who are virgins, the Islamic State leaders would have, still naked, go to a building where men would select these naked women and go off to have their way with them.

Then there was another story that had included an anecdote of men who marry underaged girls. One of the girls who had spoken of her experiences remarked that it was probably because the guy thought he would never again be able to have a wife. My thoughts veered more towards his believing he needs to be in a marriage to have sex, that he shouldn't masturbate, and that he would never be able to have sex again if he loses her.

There was yet another anecdote among the discussion of India's censorship board attempting, ultimately unsuccessfully, to ban (essentially) a film, Lipstick Under My Burkha, that they'd described as too "lady oriented". The woman describing the situation brought up the fact the board is exclusively male and that they would have no problem if the women were their definition of attractive and dressed the way they want (scantily sometimes, perhaps).

These men, it's sickening. It's sickening how these regimes they make sometimes seem to make it so they can satisfy their sexual urges under their terms whenever it is they want. It's sickening how sometimes they have such narrow views of how sex can and/or should work, and that women should have no say. I hate that some see masturbation as desperation. I hate that women in some places and some times, even in the United States, have no authority to decide what happens with their bodies.

Sometimes men suck.