Grab Your Big Pouch

http://youtu.be/_-fOJgsUEPU

I had seen this commercial on live TV maybe only twice, but on Internet streaming it's popped up a little more. 

Every time I see it, I think a few things:

1) This Big Pouch Man character is quirky and pretty attractive. When he's upside-down you don't see it, but the moment he uprights himself in the back seat, you can see it, especially in the eyes.

2) His character is also kind of creepy. It almost seems they're making double-entendres with the product. This is fine, and I'd giggled. Simultaneously, is the character of the driving test guy supposed to be a teenager or an adult still living with mum? Perhaps it's that California's driving test age is

18, in which case it's "fine"?

3) The creepiness is kind of hot. 

Because the commercial is just barely kind of edgy, that might be why it's not gotten as much airtime, seemingly, on live television, but I'm glad for the Internet and it's archival of human creation, destruction, and weirdness.

Translation Woes

The Best Translation Ever.

http://www.tickld.com/funny/t/841598

This is why one should beware translation requests. That's been a peeve of mine, sometimes. If I want to know what something says and I don't know the language, I seek out the tools to try translating it, not go asking what something says.

Did this person learn nothing in elementary school?!

Catching Fire

The Onion Reviews 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyx1U9QjWVQ

I'd seem this *weeks* ago and found it funny, partly because it's reasonably honest and true in its sentiments:

1) Josh Hutcherson is kind of adorable, but there are others who are stereotypically more "worthy" of lead guy.

2) There's quite a bit of eye candy in the movie, it seems (as I've not seen it myself).

3) This is the view most of the Catching Fire audience will have, or at least what they're looking for when watching the movie.

It's still hilarious, regardless of how much analysis one does on it.

Goodluck Jonathan, Style Magnate

It wasn't until this Nigerian schoolgirl/#BringBackOurGirls crisis that I'd ever really seen press footage of Goodluck Jonathan, the often-criticized Nigerian president who'd won somewhat substantially in a re-election campaign a few years ago.

I subscribe to the BBC's Africa Today podcast, and so have heard about him and heard his voice somewhat frequently, but I'd never taken the time to look up what he looks like. Partly it's because the majority of African leaders haven't fit my viewing æsthetic historically, but it's just never come up.

So, one day I'm watching the news and I see this fedora-ed dude walking alongside François Hollande and I think, "Does he dress like this all the time???".

The answer, it seems, is yes. Is the majority of Google Image search results I'd called up (including the one above), he is wearing about that same hat. There are a few with him not wearing it as well, and he actually looks better without it.

My question is, then, why? Why does he wear it? Is he like his predecessors and comrades-at-arms in other African nations who've done things because they think they look good even though they fall — often quietly, sometimes publicly — in the ridicule of their people for these faux pas of fashion?

Perhaps this is worth some research. It may even be in his Wikipedia entry…

… after looking up …

Alas, no dice. But his wife's name is Patience. How interesting.

Semen… Cupcakes…

	Complex (@ComplexMag)
5/5/14, 5:50 PM California teen gave semen-filled cupcakes to classmates who were dicks to her: cmplx.it/1mwiB08

Now, apparently according to astrological personality charts, Scorpios are supposed to be the most revenge-driven. This made me think, though… This is a bit much, although I wonder how dastardly these "victims" had to be to get semen in their cupcakes.

What's more, I'm wondering how she got the semen. Was this a relative; a (very good) friend? Did she add the "spice" to her cupcakes after baking, or does she have baking materials that are now kind of biohazards?

#shivering